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Many people get nervous about giving speeches. When we give speeches in everyday life there are often rivals in the room.
Giving an acceptance speech there will be those who didn't win. Making a sales pitch at work, there will be others who want
their idea to be the favourite. In these normal situations, someone somewhere would quite like you to fail. A wedding speech
is absolutely not like this. You will probably never again encounter a crowd as supportive as the friends, family and loved
ones at your wedding. There will be a lot of love in the room and everyone will be wishing you well. So, you see, the common
reasons to be nervous when giving a speech don't really apply to weddings. Try to speak from the heart and talk to your guests
as you would talk to a group of friends, because that is precisely what they are!
A heartfelt speech will be well received, even if it is a little lacking in eloquence; so don't worry if you do not
consider yourself to be a skilled writer or public speaker. This really won't matter. Just allow your genuine emotions to
show. A little humour wouldn't go amiss, but for greater relevance, try to go with amusing anecdotes from yours, or the Bride
and Groom's life, above the actual telling of jokes. However, be careful, you don't overly embarrass anyone, and you certainly
do not want to cause offence!
If you want to add a little variety to your speech, visual aids can be helpful and effective. These can also help you to
remember key points that you wish to cover, without the need to read from a script. I have seen joke presents used during
speeches as effective lead-ins to an anecdote. For instance, the time when, as a child, so-and-so got lost for an hour on the
beach, and came back with sunburn, could be summarised by the gift of sun cream, or a compass for use on the honeymoon. By
giving the present before embarking on the tale you build expectation in the audience and may get a knowing smile from the
recipient before you have even explained the relevance. This becomes more enjoyable than simply telling the tale alone. If
you have access to a TV screen or projector at your venue, old photographs can be used in a similar way. The presence of gifts
and visual aids will even help you recall exactly what people were talking about when you look back at the wedding photography
in several years' time.
The normal order when giving the wedding speeches is for the Father of the Bride to speak first, followed by the Groom,
and lastly the Best Man. Since it is your wedding day, you can do whatever you want. You needn't be a slave to tradition. It
seems quite old fashioned, and even a little odd, for it to just be a group of men speaking. At a good few weddings this year
I have seen Mothers of the Bride or Groom, and the Maid of Honour give speeches and this is a growing trend to be welcomed.
There are several conventions that usually feature in wedding speeches. There's always a fair degree of reminiscing,
congratulating, and pride expressed. The key people are thanked for their help in planning (or financing!) the wedding, and
guests are thanked for their attendance. A toast is proposed to the bride and groom, wishing them happiness for the future and
the in-laws are welcomed to the family. If you cover these bases then you are pretty close to having a speech (albeit a
slightly formulaic one) prepared already. What will really give your words some personality are the memories shared, and
emotions expressed.
All articles by wedding photographer Ditch Green and may not be reproduced in any way without prior written permission
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